My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
false alarm, still single
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
