i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
