the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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