I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
