so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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