do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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