Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
