i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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