Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My nipple is on Facebook.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Come share oat with me in your robe
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
