i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
