Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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