he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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