HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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