ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
