Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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