stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
