We tried having a conversation with our noses.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
