mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
