I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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