So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
