so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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