This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
