Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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