don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
two words: eviction party
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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