She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize