I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
