look no pants
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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