Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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