I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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