i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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