i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
