it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
