pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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