whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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