I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
