i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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