If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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