my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she told me i tasted like america
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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