Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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