Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Randomize
