we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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