She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
