Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We're too hungover to prance.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
