It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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