That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
