Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
