She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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