Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
