Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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