the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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