I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
