I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
