found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize