His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Farmville is her only friend.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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