I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
