Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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