do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize