so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
