why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
