Me. At least after what I've been through.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
