Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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