LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
