I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
