yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
