I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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