absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
